050 - Nouvelle Annee

It's finally come, 2011 is just a couple hours away now. Bye 2010, and thank you. For teaching me how to finally let go of something and move on. Ever heard of time heals?

I've been through so maaaaaany things within this year. Met awesome people and made friends, went to Waitemata, visited Bali, met old friends, my brother, my dad. I laughed like crazy, cried the hell out and many other things. I had the best birthday ever, I had my first performance on a big stage, I had the best Christmas dinner, I went to an audition and failed (lol -_-). And oh, I got my part time job for the very first time :) It was so amazing to feel that I can earn my own money and be independent. Not forgetting that I got my driving license too, just a couple weeks after my 18th birthday. And I drove all the way to Perth alone xD

My mom's marriage with Charles is the greatest things ever happened this year. She finally get over my dad and gets married with someone who truly and whole-heartedly loves her. I still remember the time she'd cry and throw things whenever my dad call, and I would always be the mediator between them. The hard times she had, was finally over. Charles Etienne Bass is a good guy. He's such a great buddy xD

And oh, this is my last post in 2010 right xD I want to take a break for 2011, keeping myself away from internet, updating tumblr, blogspot, twitter, youtube, including my fangirl life lol. I maybe will still go online, but not really often, unless on holiday or if I really have a free time. I want to concentrate on school now, getting my good grades back and I want to graduate with an excellent result and then get myself a place in university. FACULTY OF ENGINEERING is my goal. I have to get a freaking good grades and prove to those people that I CAN MAKE IT :D

Besides, doctor's verdict says I have some health problems, and I should get ENOUGH rest, which I've never done in 2010, I slept like maximum 5 hours a day -_- So that's why, I'm keeping myself from internet. Now my life is just school, sleep, pray, study, eat. Until I graduate and get accepted in university.

So, new year's resolutions: GRADUATE WITH EXCELLENT GRADES, GO TO UNIVERSITY, FACULTY OF ENGINEERING CLASS OF 2011, GO TO PARIS/KOREA, MEET 2NE1 XD

I hope everything will get better in 2011. I don't feel regret on what I've done this year, because I can't do nothing about it. I made mistakes, I screwed things, but all I can do is let go and move on. Because life goes on.

Happy new year's eve! Welcome new year, new life, new adventure, new me! :D

Vous voir l'annee prochaine <3

049 - Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! ♥

I feel so relieved that today's performance went well. 

Uh actually, Penn forgot some of his lines, but it was still okay, we could make it up yay! So many people were coming with their kids, and the kids were just alsdjkf too cute xD

The profit we got from the ticket selling is for charity and good deeds :)

And then we had dinner in Dave's house, it was fuuuun. Friends from school, friends of friends, neighbors, family of friends, they were all coming. 

I got to babysit Dave's little brother, Jeremy, and he is only seveeen lol. He couldn't speak english well, since he grew up in France, so I should stay beside him while Dave was talking to guests. The Christmas tree was beautiful, too bad that I didn't get a chance to take a photo of it, because I left my camera ;~;

The best part is the food. They got the best food out thereeee, OMG Dave's mom is such a great cook alsdkjflf the tartine <3 It's way much different from the tartine that Charles cooks, plus it doesn't smell like foot xD

That was the best dinner of my life, best day of 2010 after my birthday. I would like everyday to be like today, when you can see happy smiling faces and hear the sound of laughter all around :)

Anyway, have a great holiday~♥

048 - Let It Snow

Merry Christmas! Though I don't celebrate it, but I'm going over to Dave's house tomorrow night for dinner :D I helped decorating the Christmas tree and finding the gift, it was a looot of fun. I'm sure there'll be a lot more fun tomorrow, and we'll be performing the musical of Alice in Wonderland at School too tomorrow afternoon and I'll be the Red Queen \o/ I'm not going to wear the red hair wig, no I don't want to LOL. The make up is weird already -o- We just done the last rehearsal today, but idk, we're still lacking in some parts, hopefully tomorrow performance will be success :)

Oh, have you heard KiSeung's Let It Snow? It's lasdjkflaksdf amazing and beautiful ;~;

047 - I...

...will put the phone under the pillow whenever you call, and pretending not to hear it so that I'll have an excuse for not picking up your call.

That awkward moment when you ask me what happen on my sudden change of mood while you're the reason why.

Que dois-je faire? Que dois-je dire?

046 - Cher

Joyeux anniversaire, Yong 'Jumyeom The Joker' Jaesoon! ♥

You are amazing, just the way you are

You're embarassed of your real name and hid it from your members, but I think it's okay, your name is cute :3

Your laugh, you hate it but I think it's adorable

You are so beautiful, and I tell you every day

When you smile, the whole world stops and stares

You don't easily get along with kids, but hey, not everyone gets along each other 

Remember the bbulmon hair you got by accident? No matter what hair styles or colors, you still look gorgeous

And whenever you put on the shades, it will looks good on you

Cause you're badass like that 8)

You've came through so much until you reached the place where you're standing on now

Maybe you aren't the best rapper out there, but you're a BAMF rapper, dancer, singer and song-writer for me

Cause you are amazing, just the way you are

­― Love, Harley Quinn

:')

045 - Nouveau

We really don't know what will happen ahead.

One year, and I've been through so many things. 

I drove all the way to Perth a week ago, alone. That was the first time and the longest car driving I've ever had ;~; I met Chao, and some of his friends. And my SACE result will come out next few days. My class will be doing a drama musical of alice in wonderland, I'll be the red queen duh -_- We'll perform on Christmas :)

But now I'm on my holiday break, finally. I need some rest and relax my self cause I've been having a pretty busy weeks. Maybe I'll go to China Town next Tuesday with mom :3 Or shopping to Rundle, whatever, I just need to entertain myself -,-

Anyway, it's nearly new year. 2010 surely passes by sooo fast. 

But, I don't ask 2011 to be awesome, I just want it to be better than 2010 :)

Maybe... I shall write a new year's resolution later.

11/28

I'm tired.

Everyday I wake up at 5. Pray, and get myself ready for school. Then I'll have some minutes until 8 to go for school. I go home at least at 3, if there's no class that I should attend to catch up the subject material. Everyday I receive at least 5 pages of paperworks, and up to fifteen pages on weekend. I sleep normally around 10 or 12, or I sometimes stay up until 2 still doing my homeworks. I'm now all... exhausted. 

I'm human too, I don't have an endless stamina. I once ever thought to give up and quit, but I decided not to. I've already gotten this far, which isn't easy to come all the way here. It's been a year, and I realized I shouldn't have thought that way. This is the consequence that I must receive.

I have a goal, to enter the faculty of engineering in university, which requires you to excel in math and science. This isn't my mom's will or because she forces me to, but this is pure come from my heart, I want to enter the faculty of engineering.

Weird? Some of my friends said so. For a girl to enter an engineering, I got so many people laughed at me and mocked me. Well, there's this custom that a girl isn't supposed to do a guy's work. But hey, I love it and why can't I? My mom advised me to take medical school instead of engineering, but... no thanks. I just can't stand seeing blood and how the way it smells. She gave up and let me decide, but warned me about the consequence that I'll get. 

Honestly, I'm a straight A student. Since junior high I always on the top rank in class. I know everything in senior high is totally different in junior high. But I feel the obstacles and difficulties now are much bigger, now I have to do extra work to get those good marks. 

I whined and complained on how I get so many homeworks everyday, and I got no more times to hang out and play. Now I realize, I'm on my last year, final exams are getting closer, and I shall study hard. Maybe I should say thanks to teachers for giving a bunch of paperworks because that made me stay at home doing them on weekend instead of hanging out. 

You know you can do it, Renata. YOU KNOW YOU CAN. Just don't give up whenever you go through hard times. To achieve a big dream, all you need is to give all you have. 

ParaVersa

drawn by this girl :

Her name is Arin. She's my cousin and my close friend. 

So, we were chatting on msn because I need some help for doing my chem papers since tomorrow is my exam (I'm not even sleeping yet around this time rofl). She's really good on science and math so that's why ;D

And when we finished she showed me the doodle she drawn at her school. It's from 2NE1's It Hurts music video, if you don't realize xD

She drew it on the floor lol. She said she drew it just for fun but realized it's pretty cute then she took a picture of it. I first thought it was like a toddler's drawing rofl. 

But I think it's pretty cute too :3

D. D

A super beautiful doodle drawn by David Dwadson.

It captured the moment we shared together keke. So he gave me this a couple days after my birthday. He already gave me a journal, but he said he made this specially. He actually drawn this from a picture that taken on my birthday. This is the most precious gift I've ever received from someone. And oh, he said that this was photoshopped a couple times because he got a difficulties on drawing my nose and lips LOL. But the final result really came out well ryt :B

18 And Growing Up

Thanks to Aaron for taking this beautiful picture :)

Today is my 18th birthday. And I got pranked. Twice actually. 

When I woke up, my mom and step dad already gone. They left a note on the fridge saying that they were going to Salisbury until tomorrow so I'll be alone at home. They haven't said happy birthday yet to me. I felt a bit sad, but I tried to understand, maybe they forgot because they're busy. 

Around 10 AM, my friends called me. Bree, Sarah and Nate who were called. Bree was the first, then followed by Sarah, and Nate was the last. They told me that Aaron got a terrible accident yesterday, he injured his right leg and had fractured ribs, and he can barely move his body. They also said that Aaron could get a permanent paralysis too. I was shocked. I can hardly believe it since I just met him yesterday afternoon and he was completely doing fine. I decided to go to Aaron's house. When I reached there, there was nobody, it was all dark, and the door was unlocked. I came in but I still couldn't find anybody. When I tried to get out, somehow the door got locked. I felt a bit scared at that time ;~;

I decided to try the back door and went to the backyard. Just after I touched the knob and opened the back door to the backyard, someone threw the cake on my face. I couldn't see. I wiped all the cake, and I saw Bree standing in front of me and holding a cake. Then behind Bree I saw Aaron totally healty with no bruise. And I saw the others. Sarah, Jared, Meg, Tess, Nate, and Dave. Yes Dave. Doesn't he supposed to be in Canada now? I was thinking like that. But he was there. And he's back :)

They prepared everything in the backyard. The foods, the cake, and drinks. When I was about to slice a cake, they lift me and were going to threw me to the water. I struggled and I could get stand on my feet again. But suddenly they pushed me into the pool. I got wet. And I cried. I cried out of happiness. That was the best birthday party I've ever had. My friends are awesome :D

Aaron gave that small crystal stuffs shaped like candies and sweets, just like on the first photo. And Dave gave me a journal. Since he knew the last one that he gave me last year have already full. Bree and Sarah gave me a red beanie, which I've been looking for. I asked Tess, Nate, Jared and Meg where's my present jokingly LOL. I don't really want a present, their presence is the present :D But they said they' ll give it to me tomorrow, aww they are so kind :)

And in the evening I got home with Dave. Since my parents were away, Dave stayed for awhile. He was going to help me cook dinner, when my mom and step dad home all of a sudden. They brought home a lot of delicious dishes they got from my step dad's cousin. 

And that was the best dinner I've ever had with the whole family. And Dave too :')

My mom and dad gave me a new givenchy flats. A bit different, but same color. White. You know, my brother spilled coffee on my old givenchy ;~; Then after dinner I had a very nice phone calls with my friends in Jakarta and my brother. 

This is the best birthday ever. I got pranked twice. But I like it ROFL.

Oh wait.

Happy birthday too, Key! I like sharing the same birthday with you LOL. WYATB, twinbro. ROFL. 

I still can't stop smiling like a fool. This is the best moment of my life.

Clenching A Tight Fist - BEAST (비스트)


[Kikwang] I told you to go, to go away 
I replied back to you that I didn’t like you because I thought I wasn’t going to see you again


[Dongwoon]I wanted to embrace you with my two arms, but I couldn’t do that 
Because I thought I was going to cry first


[Hyunseung] We can live apart
There is a farewell for us too
Only the fake laugh is coming out 


[Doojoon] I will send you away
So hurry up and go to be happy
Clenching my fists tight, I started to cry


[Yoseob] We can’t meet again, now we really can’t meet
I bit my lips at these cold icy words
I don’t want to look back, I don’t want to ever look back
I tell myself over and over again, but I can’t do that 


[Junhyung] After that, the dreams of me finding you repeats
Just looking at your back, you don’t smile back looking at me
I happily greet you even though there is no response from you
So that I won’t end up regretting after I wake up from this dream
It isn’t easy to fill up a blank space
The memories just shine a light to where you are
Words that I don’t even mean, I send them to you
Clenching my fists tight, Good luck to you


[Kikwang] I didn’t know it was this hard walking back home 
My heart is too stuffed up


[Doojoon] I need to live better
I need to fight this off
No matter how much I tell myself
It is so hard because thoughts of you roam in my mind 


[Yoseob] We can’t meet again, now we really can’t meet
I bit my lips at these cold icy words
I don’t want to look back, I don’t want to ever look back
I tell myself over and over again, but I can’t do that


[Hyunseung] Even though I tell myself that I will forget a girl like you
Even though I tell myself that I will never look at a girl like you
But again I can’t forget you 


[Yoseob] We loved each other, we really loved each other
Why are we breaking up like this?
(Let’s not break up)
Telling me that you couldn’t live without me,
Telling me that you were going to die without me
You who used to say such thing,
Where did you go? Where did you go?






CREDITS: aoistars @ B2STRISING.COM (ENG)




***




This song is beautiful. Like seriously. I cried for real. And the lyrics was just asdf;alsdjflasjdf. I've been playing this song for like a million times. This song is so beautiful. 
"Clenching A Tight Fist is the best to listen to before you go to sleep" ― @Joker891219


:')

Mario Anggakara

A-Yo people! :)

So how are you doing? Fine? :D Well, I decided to try to post here more often heeehee. See that picture above? That's my beloved brother Mario Anggakara. And yeah, I never done this before, ya know, posting something about my brother. But this time it's different LOL. He's going to go back to Bandung next Sunday, and I surely will miss him a lot. We argued and haven't talked to each other since couple of days ago (ya know, that givenchy flats incident ;~;) and he didn't even say sorry, but I decided to go to talk to him first. I mean, it was just a shoes (though it's the first expensive stuff I bought with my own money ;~;), and he is more important than just a pair of shoes. 

He was born on 1988, oh yeah four years older than me :D December 9 is the time for him to blow the candles. And I just realized that he shares the same birthday with Choi Minho from SHINee LOL. He's a visual arts student. He likes Japanese anime, Japanese comics, Boys Like Girls, Paramore, Basket Ball, Sate Padang, black color, hats, guitar, drum, 2NE1 (Oh yeah he's a fanboy, thanks to me LOL), and Taylor Momsen. What I envy from him is, he can eat a lot without gaining weight ;~; He is really slender, and IMO his figure slightly more like a girl LOL. 

This was when we went to Semaphore Jetty. I'm at the right side, and he's at the left side. His butt ruined everything LOL. He's even skinnier than me ;~;

We don't look alike each other, and so many people have said that too. He looks really different from me, they thought we're not sibling but we're dating -_- 

After he get back to Bandung, I know we're not going to see each other in a long time, since he's going to live with my dad, and me with mom. So sad to know that, I'll miss him so bad :s

No matter what we've been through, he's the best brother in this whole universe.

Can't Nobody

Hello! :D

Oh yeah that's me. So, am I pretty? LOL, my cheeks are so chubby ryt haha. I dyed my hair to dark brown couple of weeks ago. Finally, after the long long long argument with my mom. I asked her permission to dye my hair, and at first, I wanted to dye it to maroon, burgundy or even blonde. But she strongly rejected. She said that I shouldn't have asked about that, and she told me how bad  dying your hair is. OMG LIKE SERIOUSLY, IT'S JUST A HAIR COLOR. She was totally freaking out. But I didn't give up lol, and then we made a deal. She only allows a natural color, like brown or black. Since my hair is originally black, so I dyed It brown :D

After I got back from the hair shop, my step dad seemed really surprised. He said I look prettier with my black hair ;~; I was kinda regretting it at first, but some of my friends said I'm cool with my brown hair hahahaha. Then my mom told me that she was freaking out because I have an asian face. And she said asian should stick with black hair lolwut. 

My brother, who is in Adelaide now, said that he likes my black hair more but I'm still looking good in this brown hair keke. He will go back to Bandung next Sunday, and yet we still haven't talk each other. Since the day he spilled out the coffee to my white givenchy flats ;~;

Well, he didn't even say sorry :( And actually, we still talk. But it's awkwaaard ;~; Should I go approach him first? Hmmph :\

And, school will start within more than a week. Oh year twelve. Sigh sigh sigh sigh. 

So, guess I'll see you later on my next post ;)

Go Away

Go Away by 2NE1

Hey! It's been a long time comin`, but we're here now! Yeah, it's 2NE1 comebaaaack. Nah, actually tomorrow is :D But they already released 2 MVs, Clap Your Hands and Go Away. So far, Go Away really caught my interest. It's amazing. Super duper awesome.

I've been a die hard fans of 2NE1 since the first time I know BIGBANG. I listened to Lollipop, then I got to know 2NE1. Since then, I freaking love these girls. And I can't explain how much I love Lee Chaerin lol. Do I sound like a fanboy? 8D Well, fans have been waiting for like, almost a year? Of course their comeback is the most anticipated for this year, because 2NE1 always brings up something unique and new. And yeah, once again, they did it. Two times 2NE1 is trending without a planning, and before the album released It already on the first position on the chart. And right after the album released, 6 songs from the album are topping the chart. OMG, I'm so proud of my girls ;~;

But, I'm not going to lie here. Well, I'm a die-hard fangirl, but I'm not going to try defend my idols. I'm a bit disappointed. The songs are good. Teddy really is a genious. But I just can't stand the `too much` autotune in the song. BUT, maybe It sounds better with those effects and autotune? And I'm still loving the songs though xD

Alright, back to the music video. Go Away. The song is sooo good. I freaking love the meaning. And you know what? One of the reasons I like 2NE1 is, how their songs meaning are full of girl power. And because Chaerin is the main girl here, that makes me love this music video even more. IMO, this is the best music video of 2NE1 so far. 

The story is about CL who just broke up from his boyfriend, which the role is played by Song Jaerim. After that, she really is suffering in depression. And OH! CL is a car racer here 8D When the day for them to race come, CL found out that Jaerim already have the replacement of her. CL wants to beat him on that race, but she failed. And when she came to Jaerim's house, she saw that he was with his new girlfriend. Then Jaerim dragged CL to the backside of his house. CL said that Jaerim wears the jacket that she bought for him when meeting other girls. And there goes Jaerim's anger, he slapped her FREAKING MORE THAN 3 TIMES. Okay he's hot, I admit. BUT HE SLAPPED CHAERIN, FOR GOD'S SAKE ;~;

After that, CL determined to beat him on the next race. She finally realized that he doesn't deserve her. Well, I think you should listen to the song and read the english translation by yourself :D

The ending was kinda confusing. I think they want us to make our own perception there. But to be honest, at first I thought that It's Jaerim's car that is crushed. But then I realized, CL's car is the black one. And that is the car that is crushed and burnt. So, CL's dead? But at the end, she's there with the other girls staring at the crushed and burning car, then left. 

After all, CL's acting was SUPERB. Amazing is not enough to express my feeling. I want to see her in a drama someday *w*

Last but not least, I love how this music video shows how talented Lee Chaerin is. She's not only the baddest female, but she can acts too. Seriously, my heart hurts when CL slapped by Jaerim, and I can feel the pain that she felt when she's lying on the ground after Jaerim left her. I cried too. And I am not easy to cry.

This makes me love Lee Chaerin even more. No matter what people say, she's the perfection to me. People say she's ugly, well, they should go to the doctor. SHE'S FUCKING GORGEOUS (IMO). And not even undergo a plastic surgery. She even looks damn pretty in the weirdest clothes. CL proofs that look is not always everything. She proofs that inner beauty makes your outter beauty shines bright. Her talent and charisma is a plus. Lee Chaerin, the one and only baddest female.

Haters?

You ain't shit without your crew.

I should have posted it on holiday but I was just...

I should have posted it on holiday but I was just...


Too lazy.


LOL.


Oh well, so how are you doing? It's been a long time since my last post, yes? :)


Even though I'm still on holiday, but yeah.. It feels like holiday is already over. So many activities that have to be done. Oh yeah `WE` here means me and my highschool mates yayyy!!! We were doing a charity concert last Thursday, and you know how much that we got? IT'S FREAKING 700 AUD OMG OMG OMG!!! LOL I sound too hyper. But you know, the concert was hella great! I did performing too :D So there's this acoustic club at school, and my friend Bree is the head of this club. You're asking what do we do? Performing unplugged songs of course haha. 


Oh and bytheway, at early July I went to Jakarta and Bali. You don't knoooowww how I freaking miss this place, esp Jakarta! Though I couldn't have the chance to meet my friends, but I still could make a phone call with them. So I was arrived at noon, and before I could get rid of my jet lag, me and my mom went to my dad's house. It was weird since I haven't meet him in such a very long time :(


Well, just skip it to the part when we arrived at Bali kay? Haha. Yeah so frankly saying, I went to Bali with my mom and dad. Weird much huh? I know it too, since they divorced and now they went there together with me. And FYI, my step mom and step brother went there too. So I don't know, maybe It was like... kinda family reunion? Eww, I swear with all of my soul that it was the most awkward family gathering I ever been to. And FYI too, my step brother is a total asshole. He just 2 years older than me, and 2 years younger than Rio. But he's totally different with Rio, a 180 degrees of difference. And after a fine three days at Bali, we went home. We here means me and my mom. I cried a lot at airport. Because of Rio, and because of my dad.


You know, I feel kinda weird, guilty, etcetera etcetera etcetera to my dad. The one reason is because I used to hate him so damn much. But deep in my heart I still have a love to him. Aaah I wish I could write down all of my feeling to this blog. But it's just too undescribable. I feel like a criminal because of my dad. You know, the criminal here means like, when you just done something bad. Oh no, it's worst. Gaaah I couldn't write it down ;__;
Moreover, I couldn't have a chance to meet Rio :(


After we got back to Adelaide, everything's back to normal. Chuck is doing fine too. And now, I'm officially mom's, while Rio is officially dad's. I don't know wether it's unfair or not, and I worry about Rio who will live with my dad and my step mom :\


OH WELL! You know, I still have to live my life here. My life is here now, not there anymore :D


And by the way, I take a part time job as a math tutor at Kev's house. I should teach them math equation for mid school. Just FYI they are so dumb, so it takes an extra effort for me to teach them ;___;


So yeah, that was how I spent my last two months lol. Year 12 will start in about one month, be ready and start a new session!


XOXO

#np Speechless

Ello-u!

It's been a long time ago since last I posted here. Yeah I know, I'm not often posting here. It's because I don't know what to write haha. So, how are you doing? :)
I've been doing right these past 9 months, and at July 5th, I'm going back to Jakarta. Not a long stay, only for four days. That's too short for me! I can't spend only four days at Indonesia, because I have to meet all of my old friends, my close relatives, and Asta too as well. But I couldn't against Mom's decision ya know, she has some things to do there. Including the meeting with my Dad, my biological Dad of course, not Chuck. I feel excited and scared at the same time. Excited that finally I'll be able to see my old friends, and scared about what will happen to Mom and Dad at the meeting. I'm scared that there'll be a fight between them. Not a physical fight I mean, because they absolutely won't do that. My Mom and Dad often arguing on the phone line, and I often being their mediator. That sucks, I hate being their mediator. And I'm afraid that the meeting will not succeed. :(
Besides that, these past two months I got some serious physical problem too. With double-D aka David Dwadson. I don't even know what kind of relationship that I have with him. He's my closest friend, the very first friend that I have when first time I came here. I would like to consider him as a boyfriend, but the fact is he is not. I don't even know why we keep acting like we're a girlfriend-boyfriend couple, and il a même volé mon premier baiser! And when I expected too much from him, it's really hurting. I know that's my fault, but who wouldn't do the same like me, after all that he did? It's like he flew me high away, then he bumped me on to the ground roughly. Hurt.
Such a shame that I still meet and talk to him everyday. I just can't avoid him, he's invading my mind and my life too much.

We're Unbreakable

i'm feeling like i want to post on my school day-off lol.
well, i just want to post my current #nowplaying on my playlist hahas. it's Fireflight's Unbreakable. such a mind-boosting song :)

Where are the people that accused me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight, can't face me in the light
They'll return but I'll be stronger

God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me

Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can?t see to reach my destiny?
I want to take control but I know better

God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me

Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust

God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me

when your life feels so sour

so uhm, okay. i just dunno where to start.

my life sucks, yes it definitely is.

oh wait, there's one good news. i'm going to Jakarta this July. yay for that, but wheew for this one. my dad offered to pick me up at the airport. and the problem is, i'm going to Jakarta with my mom. that's the biggest problem ever, because if the two meet, there'll be something that worse than world war 2 or even there'll be world war 3 itself.

couple days ago, my dad called me. well, actually he always calls me since i moved here. mom obviously doesn't like it. when dad tried to talk to mom, it always ends with mom shouting, screaming, cursing, and crying. and me should always be their mediator which i hate the most. standing between two people who you love most is hard, i know. 

so, the worst call from my dad is last saturday. he offered me to live with him in Jakarta. i know this may be a good decision for me to take, but there are lots of things that bothering my mind. first is, my dad's new wife. she definitely is hating me, because she never wanted a child that isn't her own child. i miss my old life, i miss Jakarta, i miss every thing! but how i survive living with her and her so-called-perfect son? 

on the other hand, i know my mom won't survive without me. even tho i know that she's happy with chuck now. but still, she needs me. 

before i moved here, they offered me the same choice and now they do that again. at that time, i decided to follow my mom. because of my teen-anger and i was so emotional at that time, and i felt like betrayed by my dad who already re-married. but somehow, i miss my dad. i know that it will feel great to meet him again and hug him tightly, but i'm not sure mom will let me. 

the hardest thing for now is, talking to mom for asking a chance to meet dad. i know it'll tough, but i have to stand strong. 

ritey rena, stand up, alive, and stop crying. :)

I SKIP SCHOOL TODAY

the title says it all, I SKIP SCHOOL TODAY HAHAH!!
it's just because of I overslept and couldn't catch the last bus. 
but yeah, you know, today there will be english literature and calculus. I think it's okay to skip those subjects for one day *evillaugh*.
oh and I told dave to sign my absence card lol. yesterday Mr. Etienne told me to meet him for the debate at next Monday, but yaaaaa I don't attend school for today. Maybee I'll call him later. 
And and and, Mom left house at five this morning when I was still flying in dream land. She left a post note on the fridge and ah another day when I home alone. How many times should I tell you mom that I can't cook well? Geez, maybe I will call delivery service later. I'm so hungry right now, and I'll go get my brunch. Bye ;D


well, jouissez de votre jour, peut-le être un grand merveilleux jour ❤

Espoir

Ils disent, "croyez en votre coeur."

Mais la vérité est, je ne peux pas même entendre mon honnêteté.

Que devrais-je faire?

Je sais que je devrais prendre la décision juste, mais c'est juste trop difficile.

Nouvelle Vie Scolaire

second post since 2010 xD
it's been a long time since last post, but yeah I've been busy doing stuffs. lol. actually, I'm not really in a good mood to write when holiday. but now, I really miss holiday :( school's going crazy because of Mr. Étienne. he gave me loooots of french work sheets. since this is the first week of school, I'm sure that there'll be more of homework :'((
anyway, I've learned how to cook lasagna. not really hard, it's pretty easy I think. but yeah, I'm not really good in cooking lol. 
 actually, I should be working on my work sheets right now.
á tout à l'heure et ayez une nuit agréable :D

Bonne Année

Hey!
Happy New Year!!
lol
my house is so crowded right now, but who cares? I just want to enjoy my own new year wiff my own way. haha, my mom's friends are so boring to talk to. so, all I want to do is waiting for Asta's call. yeahaaa~
oh ya, why don't we made a flashback for a whole 2009?

#1 on January, I got new handphone. A Sony Ericsson W950i. haha
#2 14th February, the best valentine day ever with Asta. He brought me a bunch of white roses eventhough I prefer red more than white and a boxful of white chocolate too. How cool is that? :D
#3 14th May, first time joined forum. and my first forum is SHINeendonesia.
#4 August, I stopped from school and saying goodbye with friends at school. preparing for Adelaide. 
#5 23rd September, SHINee's Key's and My birthday. and yes, we have the same date, lol. it was my best birthday ever too, you know because of Asta, Arin, and other folks. ahh I love them so muchies :)
#6 29th September, I arrived on my new home, Adelaide.


lol, that was what happened on my year. and now I can wait to know who is my secret santa on Sujunesia's NYGE. 
and talking about new year, it's still 10:00 PM in Indonesia now, so it hasn't been passed by midnight yet.
oh and I have resolutions for the next 2010 :D

change my bad habit, become more serious *srsly*, allowed to use brackett *haha*, get new laptop, and get a "A+" mark *all I got this far are only A, B and B+* rofl.

so, yeah l'espoir vous a un nouvel an hilarant.

once again, bonne année :D